here kitty kitty

driving home around lake harriet by the band shelter i saw a cat eating out of a sewer drain.  i thought my god that is the biggest fucking cat i have ever seen.  drawing closer with better view from the high beams i noticed that it wasnt a cat, not even close.  it was a raccoon, and it was the size of a small labrador.

reversal of nature, city going country. country going, well you get the picture. poses the question. i wonder if they have crackheads running around in the woods now?

what the fuck?

every school day after lunch i sign on to one of the computers in the lab at school to check my email, facestalk, read peoples blogs that i know, and on the occasion do some online banking. lately, i have started reading the city pages blotter since one of the writers went to school with the lizard. also it does bring some interesting news along with the funny, so its kinda like watching the daily show except ive met the person writing it. anyways i read this story earlier http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2009/03/goat_makes_dram.php
and had questions. is what happened ok, these people just have goats in their neighbor hood hanging out, and others. the one that sticks in my mind the most though, is that picture actually taken of the goat

at least the weather's not the only thing

that's frightful that is. i went out to meet ben on monday tuesday for a drink or two in the big scary city. it was thirty five or so and reason enough to take out the kona so i was all over it. coming down hen right in front of the rock bottom this squad was parked in a lane of traffic, cherries lit.

well, i didnt see the police do anything that looked important, in rush hour, on the busiest street in downtown mpls but whatever. whats the fun of having authority if you cant abuse the fuck out of it. so today, we got dumped on. and by that i do not mean that i got shit on at any point. no no no. snow fell from the sky as if it were in fact trying to kill us all in the city of lakes. and maybe it is, but thats not really important now. anyway i was driving home from the big H around calhoun and they literally plowed half of the road. fuck everyone attempting to head west to the promise land, you can drive in 8 inches if traffic comes round. i tried to take a picture of that too but driving + dodging cars + taking pics = well, i let you give it a name.

well at least it was nice outside

well you probably have no clue what in the hell this is so ill cut suspense as i know your dying to know. this is what my cars keys look like sitting in between my seat and center console. when i say keys that is to get in to my building, to get into my door, keys for the whip and to unlock my bike. forgot to mention that liz left hers in the apt + neither of us brought our cell phones. this is just a recipe for awsome. after some time we did get into our apt with a little help from some neighbor friends who watch their tv really fuckin loud. i ended up scavenging my casa for keys that i should have just known werent there. called my sister to see if they would be over and never really got an answer since she was out putting the booze back in boozebag. after a while it dawned on me that i had left them in the office of my old apt front office (for plowing reasons) and just forgot. it is only 6 miles to NE/SE minneapolis from home but i had the problem of no llaves for the bike.
enter this bad boy. yes that is a 1980's fuji 10 speed and that thing was slick as fuck. it was covered in dust at liz's uncles house in his garage and was exactly the steed to get the job done.6 miles in about 30 mins wasnt too bad after not being on a bike in about 4 months, and i only almost spilled on the ice once. i had such a blasty blast i think its time to go out there and pick myself up a kona.

oh yeah, i found out that if your going to be riding and its soupy out you should probably have fenders

ass deep in ass

so i havent posted since the election and things that have happened since:
1)semmester ended, didnt do to bad
2)mr and mrs joyce had a son
3)finally got a job
4)saw a movie called zombie strippers
5)went back to school
today its balls cold which is always wonderful, while i was thinking about how stupid a person has to be to end up in the ditch i almost spun out on 212

its not thanks giving, its ben's birthday

happy birthday you old bastard. this morning since it was your birthday all these people came out

to run for ben on his birthday. i have no idea why any of them were dressed as turkeys. its probably because they're assholes











"fuck you you fuckin fuck." ben montag, from the archives

ben this bears for you

so the first part of this is not that good but the last 20 seconds more that makes up for it

?

so, perusing through some news via the web i came across a story that the worlds ugliest dog had died.

i just want to know who doesnt think that the dog already looked like it was dead. i guess RIP no matter if you just died or if died 4-5 years ago and some sick bastard dragged his dead body around