culmination

im going to have to start this off by saying that i am cooler than every son of a bitch that reads this, because of last night. Partying down at caseys the man and i finally did something we had talked about doing since january. im talking about the grainbelt sign kittycats and this shit was off the chain. my day started off horribly (fucking paint can) and after this event i can say that this was one of the greatest days of my life

we ll start this off at the beginning where most stories start, or ones that make sense anyways. keg beer at caseys, some beer pong, general shennigans. the man says were going on a mission and i comply. we walk down hennipen ave. and hit every bar on the way there. decently lit when we get there kedall stops for this one
(you cant see it but thats the sign behind him)

i have a ginormous fear of heights which is funny since i love to rock climb, i guess the rope gives me a little bit of reassurance. by the by im shitting my pants climbing up the fucking scaffolding up to the ladder (which was cut off so people couldnt climb) i didnt think i could make it. kendall put my ass in check and got me to spider monkey up that fucker. the view from the top is ridiculous and totally worth the death defying climb

if you ever wondered what it looks like to look down the grain belt sign, this is it

being some hundred feet in the air i was nervous where as the man is hanging off this bitch like it was a jungle gym. so yeah this is when i found out that justin reed kendall is without fear. that motherfucker is my boy and i love his ass to death. the news team cant do anything without a celebratory drink so we did that thing, well we actually hit all the bars on the way back too but that was inevitable
we drank the same amount but on the way back but Kendall got entirely tanktied... tweedladeet. So the last quarter mile i had to carry his ass and in all honesty i would have piggy backed his ass the three miles back from the sign if i had too, still would have been worth it.

mad acooustic sets

so me and the man went to see our brothers case and luke from sherbetty doing a little accoustic set at keerans pub in downtown mpls. luke settin up before the show who drank the entire time which made the show rediculous (intresting side note, he got drunk enough that we got lost in the city that luke lives in on the way home)

moving on so the man and i started about 4 in the afternoon and i surprisingly deciede to take easy, keezy on the other hand took my role as being to drunk to be in public and decieded to walk back to the casa (easy 3 miles)

this was about a half our before

the brothers doin a shot of some fine irish whiskey, these mutha fuckas came to bring the shit and rock the fuckin socks off, which they did, congratulations gentleman

and the squirrel master comes out of left field

"boots to what bitch, boots to chemists boots boots to chemists..."

Jap Karate 2006








so me and this fucker devised a plan to see who could get drunker than who, anyone with any sense of style has played this game before so i need not tell you how it goes down. started drinkin when i woke up with brothers lovested and starback. they had to go to work at 4 (and yes they were smashed when they went in) so i hook up
with this man for some contest action.
we did it like this we did it like that, mother fucker we did it with a wiffle ball bat. after glorious games of beer pong and getting to the point where im to drunk to be in public (but a keggers not public is it) and out of left field comes the squirrel master


thats the cmp s girlfriend holding a fucking squirrel that she caught. no shit she had this fucker just hanging out with her for like three hours. to finally get rid of the little shit she had to drive a couple miles down the road and let it out there
the boys had a little bit of a sing along later and i am sorry to say that my old traveling minstrel has been replaced
on the ride back to caseys kendalls busted ass looked like this so i can only imagine starting before he did in the day, i looked much fucking worse

wicked game

the only reason this has the title it does is because chris isaac was on j leno when i started this and if you fools dont recognise that shit you will all rot in hell... so by the by, i can imagine you all know what this is

if you dont your stupid or not from minnesota, if you are not from ninnesota congratulations youve seen the inside of the met dome. i went to see the twins kick the hell out of cleveland (which they did) with these two lovelies (katie & krista)

so anyways drank a few beers had a good time on the way back to the car we saw a ginormous hill that just had to be rolled down. on her second trip down katie hit a huge puddle and entirely caked herself in mud. for a some reason there was a celebratory kiss which was just a pek but im goin to say that i love my camera and its obscure blurrings making me look like a pimp

anyways on the way back up the ramp to the car katie (always the exhibitionist) decided that wearing only a t shirt is better than muddy clothes. When a hot 19 year old tells you that, the only thing to do is smile and nod, well i gave her my shirt too but any farther than that and you are gay as a picnic

sorry were side ways here this puter has no photoshop

have you ever made a bad decision

this weekend i decided to spend my time south in the dale. weekend started off normal enough, the railway, some cocktails, what have you, friday went off without a hitch. well the minor flair up between fonz and his ex sucked but what ever. on to the next day, saturday the captain and i woke up, drank a few mikes, cleaned the house/garage and went out to his old mans on prior for a work party that ryans dad` john, was nice enough to let me tag along too

after this we shot back to our favorite southern city for some strait up business, street dance, and of course the time offered tradition know as neo pro wrastlin. quite possibly the definition of redonculous

soon after the street dance ensued and we fit as much beer drinkin and ass shakin we could fit on the quite streets of the dale

the band rocked on and we danced, begining to know that you are to drunk to be in public is a handy tool so after a while i began hoofing it on back to the compound. i did have to stop in a baseball field and lay down for like thirty min so i could walk in a strait line again. night becomes blurry after that but i semi remember going to sleep, waking up and doing shots of jag and well thats my next black out. in the morning we got up, i got someone to work for me and we went right back after the sauce. went into new prauge to meet some cats at simons (hole in the wall bar) where we got possibly the drunkest ive been in a while. booty dancing hangin out with this old lady who was more intoxicated than us

this is where shit gets wierd, the bar that we are at has an apartment above it. saying that if you ever wonder what you look like while blacking out this is basically it

i fell asleep on the side walk next to the bar (simons) and was taken upstairs to a empty ass apartment by the bar tender and woke up the most dishevled i think i have ever been in my entire life. falling down the stairs of the apartment back into the street i had no idea what city i was in, my general souroundings looked strange ect. and still a day and half later i dont quite know what happened

Ancient Japanese tradition

so a week ago this man right here



from the prestigious Saji clan, known throughout all of japan brought me in on a little zen like tradition, pitting man against man in a game called edward 40 hands.



those don't come off until those are done,both of them, this can only be called,BMH,BST,SMT or quite frankly the most ballin shit ever

there is no such thing as a perfectly good airplane

im sure they here it constantly so i dont even attempt to utter the words. i am hoping everone has seen point break and if you havent it was the same exact thing as the fast and the furious except its about surfing instead of street racing, what ever im getting away from the point. I have the line "so how do you feel about jumping out of a perfectly good airplane johny?" while im sitting in a small air conditioned room watching a man that is literally 497 years old that looks what i think willie nelsons grandpa would look like, tell you strait that there is no perfect airplane, parachute, jump instructor, harness, or student. well thanks a lot but i already gave you 175 $ so heading all warning i jumped my ass out that plane and it was infriggincredible.



After this we drove a couple of hours down the road to we ended up in hayward wisconsin where the rocket scientists that we are we had a kegger on the beach in the center of a lightning storm keg stands and all. Feeling that wasnt enough we all hopped on the steel party barge bringing the keg along with to go fishing at 1 am. We woke up and started drinking the rest of the keg beer that we had not finished we fueled up the boats for some wake boarding and general water sports. i had to leave early to come back but still got to see two things that are know burnt into my head, troy puking in the water and it not really going anywhere and paul taking a 15 dump in the water.